The Now What Pod

The Now What Pod chats with Leslie about the moment she decided to end her marriage. Despite being high school sweethearts, and married with 3 children, Leslie threw her husband out of the house after discovering he’d been cheating on her. Listen as Leslie describes how he began pulling away, the way he made her feel insignificant throughout their marriage, and how she found out he’d been unfaithful to her. Leslie talks about the challenge of suddenly becoming a single mother and full-time student, and what it means to be a strong independent woman. 
 
Topics Discussed:
Meeting her Future HusbandMarriage with Young ChildrenFinding Out He’d been CheatingThrowing Him Out of the HouseMarriage CounselingParenting after DivorceThe Importance of Support SystemsEmotional AbuseNarcissism
 
Resources:
Emotional Abusehttps://www.betterhelp.com/advice/abuse/youre-not-crazy-but-emotional-abuse-can-make-you-think-you-are/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_c&utm_term=PerformanceMax&utm_content=&network=x&placement=&target=&matchtype=&utm_campaign=17990185911&ad_type=responsive_pmax&adposition=&gclid=Cj0KCQiA1ZGcBhCoARIsAGQ0kkrt48OaqASHR5K-5YLkXUszes6TX6Pq43gBgmw-uhnElrJj8TwIkDUaAv1OEALw_wcB
 
Narcissismhttps://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissism-symptoms-signs
 
Taylor Swift Dance Party https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-taylor-swift-dance-parties-midnights/
 
Taylor Swift Broke Ticketmasterhttps://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2022/11/taylor-swift-ticketmaster-presale-concert-tickets/672181/
 
 
About Leslie:
Leslie has been a primary teacher at schools in Scarborough for 17 years. Teaching is a third career as she was a fisheries biologist after graduating university, then became a stay at-home-mother, teaching music in the community, while raising 3 children. She went back to school to get her teaching certification at the age of 44 and is passionate about her teaching career. While studying to become a teacher, Leslie separated from her husband of 20 years, who had also been her high-school boyfriend. Leslie’s hobbies include music, playing a few instruments and singing, and outdoor activities such as hiking and kayaking.
 
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The Now What Pod sits down to chat with Kareema for another episode in our “Bad Boyfriend Month”. Kareema tells us the story of how her religious beliefs led her to getting married young to somebody she’d known for only 3 months. Kareema sensed early on that something wasn't right within her marriage, but ignored her intuition and tried to be patient. It wasn’t long before her husband had managed to isolate her from her friends and community, and began mistreating her. Kareema shares the story of how she finally left, and began finding herself again. 
 
Topics DiscussedMeeting her Ex-husbandQuickie MarriageThe influence of Islam on the decision to marryHealthy MarriageGaslighting Being isolated from her friends and familyDeciding to end the marriageSupport from family Co-parentingFinding herself again after marriage
 
Resources:
Gaslighting
https://canadianwomen.org/blog/gaslighting-how-to-recognize-this-form-of-emotional-abuse/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAg_KbBhDLARIsANx7wAy1WRrcpc_Pz8vWC28zSAg0Lq33LXK3dVy3AOfqzFQ1KXEW_7BCGJoaArQlEALw_wcB
 
Types of Abuse
https://reachma.org/blog/6-different-types-of-abuse/
 
What is a Healthy Relationship?
https://www.awhl.org/what-is-a-healthy-relationship
 
Domestic Violence Resources for those who are or know someone who is seeking help (Canada)
https://www.casw-acts.ca/en/resources/domestic-violence-resources#resources
 
Domestic Violence Resources for those who are or know someone who is seeking help (US)
https://ncadv.org/RESOURCES
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes: 
“I feel like within the first 6 months that I knew something wasn't right”
“Keep everything silent. Don't say anything”
“What kind of Muslim woman am I?” 
About Kareema:My name is Kareema. I’m a 26 year old recruiter for a national  non-profit organization. I have 1 son that will be 7 years old in November. I believe very heavily in healing, self awareness, and constant development of self. In my free time I enjoy making TikTok content, spending time with friends, and engaging in various forms of self care activities.
 
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CW: Domestic Violence 
Annesa has earned herself 400,000+ followers on TikTok for her advocacy against Domestic Violence. This week, she sits down with The Now What Pod to vulnerably share her own personal experience as a survivor. She tells us about being raised in a traditional Bengali family, how she met a man who sold her a dream and married him fast and young, only to have those dreams shattered a few weeks into the marriage. She explains the role that culture and religion played in her life before, during, and after her marriage. Now, Annesa is inspiring women and bringing light to important issues within the South Asian community. 
 
Topics Discussed:Meeting “The One”Red flags Love bombing Getting engaged The first time he hit herFamily response to abuseThe Decision to LeaveSouth Asian CultureHealing after Domestic Violence
 
Resources:
Love Bombinghttps://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing
 
Trauma Bondhttps://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/ending-domestic-violence/what-is-trauma-bonding?gclid=CjwKCAiA68ebBhB-EiwALVC-Np87S0Gc5GVl6C4D6SdwiDMvKVqxyoGrwzspChIRp756VsvKeeILfhoCn1AQAvD_BwE
 
Domestic Violence Resources for those who are or know someone who is seeking help (Canada)
https://www.casw-acts.ca/en/resources/domestic-violence-resources#resources
 
Domestic Violence Resources for those who are or know someone who is seeking help (US)
https://ncadv.org/RESOURCES
 
 
About Annesa:Annesa is a Nurse, Survivor, and Advocate based in Austin, TX. She brings awareness to social issues in the South Asian community that are often stigmatized and looked past. She hopes to continue to inspire and bring light to important issues the community faces in order to help the next generation of men and women of this community.
IG: @ovo_nesaTikTok: @ovo_nesaEmail: itsannesa@dulcedo.com
 
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In this second episode of “Bad Boyfriend” Month, the Now What Pod sits down to chat with Bre about her past relationship with a narcissist. She walks us through their courtship and engagement, to finding out he’d actually been defrauding her. 
 
Topics Discussed:
Love Bombing
Discovering she’d been defrauded
Breaking up
Getting back together
Lies and Manipulation
Rebuilding her finances
Picking herself back up
 
Resources:
Love Bombing
https://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing
Financial Abuse
https://www.verywellmind.com/financial-abuse-4155224
 
About Brea:
Bre(She/Her) is an empathic professional counselor who strives to create a comforting and safe space to grow. Bre received her Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling in Ohio and has since worked in a variety of settings helping people overcome anxiety, depression, trauma. She specializes in adolescent issues and parenting, LGBTQ and sexuality, and emotional regulation.
When not working you can find Bre enjoying the outdoors, specifically in or near water kayaking, waterskiing, and swimming. She also enjoys reading, gardening, and spending time with friends, family, and her dog.
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The Now What Pod talks with Heather about her experience of being in a long-term relationship with a serial romance scammer. She walks us through how they met and fell in love. They lived happily for a couple of years before things started to unravel, and she soon discovered his secrets.
Topics Discussed:Meeting her boyfriend Finding out his real identity Reporting it to the Police Confronting the NarcissistMoving forwardLove BombingNarcissistic Abuse 
 
Resources:
Toronto Life: The Twisted Mind of a Serial Romance Scammer
https://torontolife.com/city/the-twisted-mind-of-a-serial-romance-scammer/
 
CBC News: Online Romeo jailed for Swindling Women
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/online-romeo-jailed-for-swindling-women-1.1246344
 
Narcissistic Abuse Cycle
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-abuse-cycle/
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes: 
“Well, if he comes back and you’re afraid just call 911”
“The feelings I had…didn't just go away”
“He’s just a bad person”
“He had a pretty good life with me.”
“He cost me so much money”
“It was all a lie”
“I still have gaps in my story”
“I want the deep love”
“My story is just a real cautionary love tale”
 
About Heather Rovet:
Heather Rovet was born and raised in Toronto where she currently lives. She is a real estate broker and entrepreneur. She is rebuilding her life one day at a time. She is writing a book about what she went through in the hopes that it will help others who find themselves in abusive and manipulative relationships. As well she has co-founded a podcast,  Hello Cougar, which is dropping it’s first episode soon!
Find her on social:
@heatherrovet
@hellocougarpodcast
@thespringteam
 
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This week, The Now What Pod is joined by author Emily Barth Isler. Emily shares her story of being diagnosed and living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). She describes the challenges of learning to harness her OCD as a Superpower, including the painstaking decision to take or not take medication for it. The interview includes discussion of mental health and hormones, her journey with going on and off medication, being in therapy, pop culture portrayal of OCD, and so much more. 
 
Topics Discussed:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Synesthesia 
Seeking Help for Mental Health
Medication for Mental Health
Deciding to Take Medication
Anxiety Symptoms
Going on and off Medication
Mental Health and Hormones
Opening up to others about OCD
Trauma Responses 
Disclosing Mental Health
Pop Culture Portrayal of OCD
 
Resources:
Order Emily’s Book: https://amzn.to/3DxGZ1O
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20354432#:~:text=Obsessive%2Dcompulsive%20disorder%20(OCD)%20features%20a%20pattern%20of%20unwanted,activities%20and%20cause%20significant%20distress.
Synesthesia https://www.webmd.com/brain/what-is-synesthesia#:~:text=Synesthesia%20Test-,What%20Is%20Synesthesia%3F,%22Alex%22%20and%20see%20green.
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes: 
“There will be times when you will not feel that way.”
“This isn't forever. You are not going to feel like this forever. Feel it today, and cry, and hug me tight. This is okay. Feel these feelings… but I want to remind you that you won't always feel like this”
“It would be helpful if we all viewed mental health on a spectrum”
“Not everybody deserves my story”
“I’m sad for the people that still feel like they have to whisper it, that they're going to therapy”
About Emily Barth Isler:
Emily Barth Isler is the author of the award-winning book AfterMath, a middle grade novel about grief, resilience, friendship, math, and mime. Activist and comedian Amy Schumer calls the book "a gift to the culture." Emily lives in Los Angeles, California, with her husband and their two kids. A former child actress, she performed all over the world in theatre, film, and TV. In addition to books, Emily writes about sustainable, eco-friendly beauty and skincare, and has also written web sitcoms, parenting columns, and personal essays. She has a B.A. in Film Studies from Wesleyan University, and really, really loves television. 
Website: www.emilybarthisler.com
 IG: @emilybarthisler
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This week, Nathalie Cholette sits down to chat with The Now What Pod. Nathalie tells her story of starting out as a vibrant girl, in love with life, and of how, through endless expectations imposed on her from an early age, she lost her voice. Nathalie describes losing her identity, the decision to leave her marriage, and how she ventured to reconnect with her authentic self, and now seeks to inspire others to reclaim their voice. 
Topics Discussed:
Gratitude
Mindfulness Practice 
Being “too” much
Living up to expectations
The Straight Agenda
Mindful Self- Compassion
Self-Abandonment
Finding Your Identity
Dating after divorce
Resources:
Order Nathalie’s Book: https://www.nathaliecholette.com/writer
Kristin Neff: Mindful Self-Compassion https://self-compassion.org/
She-Hulk https://disneyplusoriginals.disney.com/show/she-hulk/
Allison’s Story of Traumatic Brain Injury https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/026-allison-s-story-of-traumatic-brain-injury/id1559319776?i=1000536248879
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes: 
“Underneath all that anger was a lot of shit I hadn’t dealt with”
”Anger is a secondary emotion”
“I had been living a life based on expectations” 
“I wasn’t lacking anything, except myself. I didn't know who I was”
“We receive messages that we need to be good at all of our roles”
“ How do you find yourself back?”
“The people who leave you feeling lighter, those are your safe people.”
“reconnecting to myself has been the biggest gift that I could have given to myself “
“I've rediscovered my worth and I'm living a life of purpose”
 
About Nathalie:
Nathalie Cholette is a Speech-Language Pathologist with a background in mindfulness, who has dedicated her life to helping children find their voice. She speaks and writes openly about her experiences as a woman who, like many others, started out vibrant, lost in the wonder of her human experience, in love with the freedom of life, and of how, through endless expectations imposed on her from an early age, she lost her soulful voice.
Nathalie hails from Toronto and is a mother of two teenage daughters. She is hungry and passionate about sharing her personal and professional experiences so that other women can reclaim their voice, stand in their own power, as well as become vehicles of positive change in the world.
Website: https://www.nathaliecholette.com/writer
IG: @nathalie_cholette_
 
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Buy Us a Coffee
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This week, The Now What Pod sits down to chat with @anotherstrongwidow, Janice Bell. Janice’s husband was diagnosed with cancer when she was pregnant with their third child. The following 6 months would be harrowing, as Janice cared for three children under four years old, and her ailing husband. Six months after his diagnosis, her husband died. Then, Janice herself began to experience unusual symptoms, and would have to fight to prove that she was not just an anxious widowed new mother, but that her symptoms were very real, and very serious. 
 
Topics Discussed:
Grief Life as a young widowCaring for a sick spouseFinding a Family Doctor in CanadaCervical Cancer SymptomsBeing diagnosed with cancerWomen’s HealthGaslighting by medical professionalsHealth Anxiety
 
Resources:
What is Cervical Cancer?
https://cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/cancer-types/cervical/what-is-cervical-cancer
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes: 
“There’s no Guidebook for all of these feelings” 
 
About JaniceLife throws curve balls constantly; that’s what living is – learning how to dodge them. It’s ok, I had the ultimate dodgeball partner, and we had been accomplishing challenges of all sizes seamlessly together for over thirteen years.
In February of 2019, I was thirty-five weeks pregnant with our third child when we got the ultimate curveball of all – cancer.
Chris died in August of 2019. I struggle with his loss, but also the trauma of cancer itself and what I went through during his diagnosed period.
Eighteen months after my husband Chris died, I received my cancer diagnosis of an advanced cervical tumour. I fought to be listened to, was turned away from the hospital, and was seen as a newly widowed young mother with health anxiety.
This is my story as I move forward, rediscover who I am, and rebuild my life from (almost) scratch. If I can help someone else feel less alone and close my wounds a little bit, then I have accomplished what I’ve set out to do.
IG: @anotherstrongwidow
Website: anotherstrongwidow.com
 
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Amber joins The Now What Pod to talk about supporting her children after the death of her ex-husband. Amber married her childhood sweetheart and had 3 beautiful children. After the dissolution of the marriage, her ex-husband succumbed to addiction and later died of an overdose. Amber talks about parenting her children through grief, and the burdens of solo-parenting.
 
Topics Discussed:
Life after divorce
Men's Mental Health
Drug addiction
Attending her ex-husband's funeral
Supporting children through grief
Supporting children through divorce
Resources:
Get Help with Substance Abuse
https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/substance-use/get-help-problematic-substance-use.html
 
Child Bereavement Canada
https://childrensgrieffoundation.org/resources?gclid=Cj0KCQjwkOqZBhDNARIsAACsbfIN7_e1MugdfxZQ4JaP-C7WjKzM7_UIVDuRisteQwbC-gLxLl4NEIgaAureEALw_wcB
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes: 
“I didn't know how I was going to break it to the kids”
“How are they gonna be okay without him?”
“He hid a lot of what he struggled with”
“I was angry at him for leaving his kids. I was angry at him for leaving me to raise them alone, and I was angry at him for not pulling himself together”
“How am I still standing? I don't know”
“We just keep on trucking”
 
About Amber:
Amber is a business owner and a busy mom of 3. She is a retirement and investment specialist and is active in the hockey and baseball communities in the GTA.
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Buy Us a Coffee
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Dr. E’Toyare “Torie”  Williams joins The Now What Pod to share her expertise in the area of Adverse Childhood Experiences. In this episode, you’ll learn more about how what ACEs are, why they matter, and what your ACEs score is. 
 
Topics Discussed:
What are ACEs?
Childhood Trauma
Generaltional Trauma
Getting therapy for ACEs
ACEs Awareness
The ACEs quiz: What’s your score?
 
Resources:
https://www.bevictorieus.com/
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/index.html
https://www.ajpmonline.org/article/S0749-3797(98)00017-8/fulltext
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/media-coverage/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean/
 
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes: 
“We’re talking about life. Nobody is perfect”
“The key word is Trauma”
About Dr E’Toyare Williams:
https://www.bevictorieus.com/
I am Dr. E’Toyare Williams, an Educational consultant, Certified Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, and Mentor. As a current Director of Special Education with 20 years of experience.  I am a HUGE advocate for Adverse Childhood Experience (ACEs). I completed my dissertation on the topic after addressing my own childhood trauma growing up. I have not only learned more about the psychological effects of ACEs on young minds, but also about the long-term health complications that can come from recurring exposure to ACEs. Now that I understand how toxic stress affects the minds and bodies of children, I want to educate others about ACEs while helping children build social-emotional skills and resilience and teachers with personal and professional development on ACEs.
 
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